FAG/HAG SERIES: SHAMMED
by Bryan Borland
She knew we’d never like him
with his aviator glasses and long limbs
and his record of identifying
with Republicans.
He didn’t fit
the criteria of what we wanted
her man to be,
but in truth,
he was never her man,
not like she was our girl,
not while he gave her things
disguised as affection,
not while we joked about
his last name and she spoke in terms
of absolutes and secrets,
not while penicillin
wouldn’t kill him
and he kept coming
back
in one form or another.
A lesson to apply
in instances of future beaus
and Lukes,
if you don’t think he deserves us
what makes you think
he deserves you?
© Bryan Borland
If a friend wrote this for me, they would have my undying loyalty. You and that dedicated medicated lady sure do make me smile.
I bet you Scribby’s written you a verse or two, huh Val?
Can I get your permission to print several copies of this, put them in businesslike envelopes, and mail them out to about 40% of the women in my circle of friends? (And for that matter, about 40% of the guys?)
It’s amazing how low self-esteem will just lead to train wreck after train wreck of relationships, and you articulate it (especially that last line – damn) quite well.
“She knew we’d never like him
with his aviator glasses and long limbs
and his record of identifying
with Republicans.”
There’s not enough GOP-bashing in poetry today. I’m not necessarily saying that poetry should ‘intervene more in political life’, only that the party deserved their recent beatings even more than it needed them.
“but in truth,
he was never her man,
not like she was our girl”
There is so much pride and love in that line.
I believe I’ve said it several times before, but it’s worth repeating: Once again, you’ve created a poem that is so open and invitating, that it’s good for a quick laugh and an ode to friendship at the same time.
As far as the GOP bashing, I’ve laid off them as late because since the big O was elected, it’s felt like they’ve just been deflating themselves. But I can still kick ‘em when they’re down.
That last line seals the poem for me. It’s that kind of friendships worth having. Hope all is well.
I’ll drink to that, Michelle.
I’m still carrying around your recent five words (“Flamethrower!!!”) to use in a poem… I’m waiting on the muse! I’ll share when I’m done! I haven’t forgotten!!!
you had me through the word affection and then i wasn’t quite sure how you wanted the poem to end up? kind of a rehasing there at the end and the joke of bo and luke – funny but funny needed here?
but that start is fantastic!
Beau and Luke is a little self-indulgent pleasure inserted into the poem purely for me and M’Lady. 1) The first male I had a crush on was Bo Duke from the Dukes of Hazzard. I was but a tot. But I recognized beauty when I saw it! Bo Duke. Tight Jeans. 2) One of M’Lady’s rebound men was named Luke. Sometime fluff in poems is good for the soul, even if its not technically sound and poetically perfect. In our relationship, everything is funny. Death. Incarceration. Parasites. STDs. Tragedy in general. I can’t deviate from the abnormal.
If I were writing this to submit somewhere, I’d agree with you. But for what I want to do – just document another tragedy within the scope of our friendship… inapproproiately funny is the story of our relationship. One of my favorite things to do is to make her laugh during death scenes in movies. See City of Angels. 18 Wheeler. HA.
can we start singing that’s what friends are for?
i need friends like you guys!
i was more of a luke fan myself *wink*
but Dukes of Hazzard haunted me cause I spent my childhood being called Uncle Jesse *sigh*
Oh no! I am now bound to at least refer to you as Uncle Jesse from time to time. I apologize in advance.
understood and accepted
Bo
I should point out that there have been many a Luke in the mix of late. Mind you, readers, I date a lot in spurts. I am not a ho.
Not surprisingly, I did not get the reference to Bo and Luke Duke. Uncle Jesse was the bomb. I didn’t like the one with chesthair.
City of Angels–I mean I sat through Meg Ryan for Christ’s sake. Two hours and then she gets on her bicycle in the middle of busy road, opens her arms wide, and Bryan whispers, “I’m King of the World!” I thus started laughing and then she got hit by a mac truck and it wsa still funny. I cannot stifle laughter so I got boos from the audience.
I really like the last 3 lines, and the 2 purple heart poems that follow. So true, some times people esteem their friends more than themselves.
“not while penicillin
wouldn’t kill him
and he kept coming
back”
You made me laugh, Bryan. You forgot to mention his popped collar. Good stuff.
Love this poem! Great mix of humor and affection. So nicely done!