FAG/HAG SERIES CONTEST WINNER: SURROGATES by JOSEPH HARKER
by Bryan Borland
Someday we are going to have
two point five children.
This is how they’ll be: myopic Caucasians
with updraft hearts and thistle carpets for hair,
curious challengers to the world at large
who will know the truth
about where half their chromosomes came from:
sitting in a lab with an issue of XY, Kleenex, and
a paper cup.
They will have a succession of stepfathers
and an uncle who is closer than the others
who pays child support.
They will know the story of your disconsolate womb,
and how I pressed warm washcloths on that
meadowed belly, pair of us holding hands
watching chick flicks under a lavender afghan,
talking about these future offspring over ice cream,
far-flung and foolish hopes of children
until the day we were serious.
On the unimportant holidays, maybe I’ll arrive
with belated birthday gifts in hand,
tousle a few heads. When they’ve gone to bed,
we’ll sit with lacrymatory mugfuls of spirits,
uncertainly thankful for
the shapes we take.
From MedicatedLady, who selected the winning submission:
“As it always does and will, the choosing of a poem deemed almighty comes down to the moment of the choosing. This what I can say to you: this wasn’t a contest of apples & apples or apples & oranges. The range is far broader–my peeing in my pants to my sobbing as I drove home from work and all those sweet spots in between. So it was more like evaluating lou reed, southern fried onion rings, spring love syrum, threesomes, that guy who pretended to be asleep why you fucked his lover, murmured exhalations, Charlies, faghags at Disney World vs. cougars, a honey master of cunning tongue, man-goop. Going down in the most delightful way, percocet, a gaggle of older men, spinning bottles, princesses, underwear being stained from left over womanhood. There’s no clear winners, see?
My gratitude to entrants…I was bamboozled into feeling something. Lovely writing.
But if this is the moment, I have to choose, and so I give you my selection as the poem that evolves fag/hag into the next generation of Bitch Please.”
Thank you to all who participated!
We had some really great entries, as you’ll soon see. After allowing the winner his moment of glory, I’ll post the submissions so another champion can be crowned… so if you entered and didn’t win the MedicatedLady prize, you are still in the running for the Crowd Favorite prize. When you read the submissions, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll vomit in my car. No – wait – please don’t do that. I can only take that once a year.
Also, yo’ Joe! Email me your mailing address. You have a prize package coming your way.
Awesome! I absolutely love “updraft hearts and thistle carpets for hair.” Congratulations Joseph! =)
Check your email, Tau!
Oh my gosh:
“myopic Caucasians
with updraft hearts and thistle carpets for hair”
Goosebumps. I LOVED this piece. Congrats Joseph!
I don’t know how medicated lady chose if she truly had entries that took [nay dragged] her through the twisting miasma of indecision that she described. I giggled all the way through her description of the range of the pieces.
Can’t wait to see the rest of the entries.
Karen :0)
Oh geez, you guys. I’m all red-faced now… thanks! ^_^
Congratulations Joseph and well done in the judging department Medicatedlady! HUGS
Congratulations to Joseph, well done.
I don’t envy you the task you had, Medicated Lady. Well done to you too.
And to Bryan, thanks for the opportunity to write something I would never have thought of writing if not for your contest.
I thought “Phillip” was really a great poem…it was really nice to have something that was really different from everyone else’s…the straight man’s experience, which far from being heartless and cold showed a lot of empathy and turmoil at being propositioned.
Thank you medicatedlady.
I was a teenager and didn’t handle the situation well. I still have misgivings about it, but realise being a teenager was hard enough to deal with, along with a not too happy home life. Phillip and I put things right eventually. I hope he did well in life. He was a kind and gentle soul.
Joesph
well deserved
wonderful moving work as always
i bet it was not one of these damn Wednesdays
creative and amazing as always,
I enjoy your wisdom and gift in poetry.
cheers,
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/02/23/honesty-is-the-best-element-in-successful-relations-award-acceptance/
an award 4 u,
cheers,
[...] This is my entry, which didn’t win, and it’s easy to see why once you read the winning submission along with the other mundo excellent [...]