National Coming Out Day 1998
by Bryan Borland
As a sophomore I skipped my classes,
hid in my dorm-room closet, lived on warm soda
and stale crackers and pissed in a cup
instead of walking down the hallway
or across campus, instead of making
myself an easy target for sniper glances
of categorical identification as deadly as a bullet
to my Southern-Baptist chest. For twelve hours
of daylight, I stood mute, a boy fearful
of the monsters under his creaking bed,
of judgmental angels with letterman jackets,
of firing squad congregations, without even
a glimmer in the warzone of a miseducated brain
that one day, I’d feel autumn on my shirtless skin.
© Bryan Borland
Now this is the good shit. Stop hoarding it.
I gotta go get drunk, man. What a day. Found a jar of piss outside my door after someone banged on it like a hood junkie. Been paranoid, stared out the peephole for a good hour straight. Making connections. Something to read for a change.
Someone left a jar bodily fluid outside your door? Is this a common thing? Maybe they just couldn’t hold it and had to make a pit stop.
Another fine poem Bryan…strange how college campuses where knowledge should create a more open environment are perhaps the most conservative in nature.
I went to a very liberal, very open college… and I think, interestingly enough, it forced me more into the closet. I was scared that I would be grouped with the rainbow-flag-waving activists.
Hehe. Look at me now.
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER FELT LIKE THIS!!! Isn’t it amazing how many of “us” have lived in utter terror…and how many still do?
Wonderful poem. And just rec’d “My Life As Adam” yesterday!
Best always,
Chuck
Let me know what you think of Adam, Chuck! Thanks so much for spending your money on little ol’ me. And as far as shared feelings, we’re more alike than unalike. No matter how we define ourselves.
strong brother bryan
may no one ever need to feel down for what is in there
*flexes muscles*
Okay, so it was not just Aaron’s friend who had a thing for peeing in Gatorade bottles, and leaving them in his room; others do it too.
Jay- right on dude, loved your comment!
b-dawg, or is it pee-dawg now, lol, but I love how this came out of the chamber and its aim hit the target…
Chef E
http://tmi-chef.blogspot.com/
How funny. I just called Jessie the urinator in response to her comment below. And I totally forgot that – based on this poem, maybe that should be my name.
Gatorade! I hope nobody thinks it’s lemon-lime!
And hellz yeah. Jay Burodny is a crazy-talented poet. He’ll be in the first issue of Assaracus.
you are, of course, the shiznit
Well of course. And you are the urniator.
Well now at least I have a title
“my Southern Baptist chest”
That’s amazing how three little words can speak volumes.
Loved this piece Bryan. And really enjoyed your comment above: “Hehe. Look at me now.”
Yes, look at you now in all your naked glory.
Thank you for sharing.
You inspired me and shook something loose. I’m off to write a poem to get it out of my mind and off of my chest.
*starts undoing buttons*
BIG hugs!
:0)
…Dhyan?
Small world. I forget you were queer.